FAMILY STRENGTH AND SURVIVAL: A STORY OF COURAGE ACROSS GENERATIONS
BY TANGIORA HINAKI
Kaarl-Ka-Nyiinge – "a place of fire, sitting around a fireplace, telling yarns" – is a story passed down through generations, connecting past and present. At its heart is the account of Elizabeth Hayden’s family, including her grandfather's life, who fought to protect his children during the Native Welfare era.
Mrs Hayden graduated this week from Curtin University with a Doctor of Philosophy degree for her thesis called Kaarl-ka-Nyininge, A Place to be: We’re sitting here around the fire.
A creative Anthology of Nyoongar Women’s Oral Histories of Brookton.
She spoke to Ngaarda Media’s Tangiora Hinaki about the stories in her Anthology.
Hayden’s grandfather faced the threat of having his children taken away by welfare officers. As they crossed a river to take the children, he stood firm with a shotgun in hand, warning them, “If you step over the river, the bridge, I will shoot you. One will be for the white man and one will be for the black tracker.” The officers never crossed the bridge. “They wasn’t going to take his children,” Hayden said. This act of defiance and protection left a legacy of strength for Hayden’s family.
Hayden’s mother also endured extraordinary hardships. One night, while camping with her husband near Narrogin, her family was attacked by what they described as “little spirits.”
Her Father kept the fire burning and her Mother threw rocks at them and used her Nyoongar language to ward off the spirits.
“Mum faced them with the fire, and she drove them away with her language while pelting them with rocks
.” When her eldest daughter was pulled from the tent by hairy hands, Hayden’s mother rushed in, pulling her back to safety.
Despite the fear, her mother fought throughout the night. “Mum continued for that whole night, fighting those spirits away with fire, rocks and her language,” Hayden said.
The next day, an elder warned them, “Look, we shouldn’t have camped here. This is not the right place to be. There are things around this place. It’s a bad place.” Hayden’s mother packed up and left immediately.
Hayden reflects on how her family’s experiences shaped the survival and resilience of her descendants. Her grandfather’s stand against welfare officers had a long-lasting impact, ensuring that none of the following generations, right through to Hayden’s grandchildren, would face the same threat.
“That’s the power and the strength and the courage that he gave our family,” she said. “To stand strong against anything that threatened our children.”
The strength to overcome such challenges has been passed down to Hayden herself. In 1988, she faced the loss of her first grandchild and struggled with her studies.
After weeks of emotional turmoil, Hayden found the strength to return to university with the support of her family and faith.
“I felt this thing that says get up,” she said. “I believe that God was behind that.” A simple gesture from a cousin at university, who looked at her and said, “Oh,” with sympathy and understanding, was the encouragement she needed to push forward. “That’s what happened to me,” she said. “From family, from God, to family, to my cousin, I was able to come back.” It was through that moment that she completed her PhD, showing how the love and support of family and belief in God helped her move forward.
However, not all wounds heal quickly. Hayden remembers the pain caused by a harsh comment from a school teacher when she was younger. It haunted her for years, but after 33 years, through faith and self-reflection, Hayden forgave him. “If I didn’t heal myself, I’d be chasing this man all over the country if I could find him,” she said. “I forgive you.” That act of forgiveness created space for healing and growth, allowing her to move forward. “In forgiving, we’re growing ourselves. We’re healing ourselves,” she explained.
In telling her family’s story, Hayden shows how courage, survival, and the power of family and forgiveness have shaped the generations of her family and continue to influence her life today.